BDSM lifestyle features
What occurs first, when you hear the abbreviation BDSM ? Strange people in black leather clothes, with whips, in muzzles, who hurt each other, finding the most sadistic ways and methods, getting reciprocal joy and pleasure. “They’re real perverts”, with contempt and aversion you may say. The fear of the BDSM life and standards among people is caused, mostly, by the fact that they do not know anything about this lifestyle. And even do not recognize that may fit into this stream themselves, as soon as they analyze their own sexual preferences. Even the ribaldry, when having sex, neither more nor less than subconscious signs, that denote person’s disposition to BDSM.
Let’s analyze the notions. The term BDSM itself stands for not of four words as it may seem.
BD – Bondage and Discipline
DS – Domination and Submission
SM – Sadism and Masochism
As an act, BDSM may provoke a definitive result, that does not necessarily mean the orgasm. This “result” is some kind of euphoric trance, called “sub space”, the process in which exudes a mass of hormones, endorphins, that may deaden pain.
Bondage and Discipline – is the type of a role-playing game, in which the partner’s fixation by his Dominant, using handcuffs , binding and other devices, is assumed. Bondage means the partner’s retention in one, fixed pose. Discipline requires to follow the defined rules of role-playing, and if the partner below (Submissive) violates these rules, he is punished by the Dominant.
This role-playing does for those pairs and partners, who utterly trust each other, as losing the ability to move, the Submissive is completely under control of the Dominant. Bondage and Discipline does for pairs, where one of the partners prefers to take delight of full domination over the partner’s body, while the other wants to feel himself in a state of extreme dependence and defencelessness.
Domination and Submission can be considered both from the aspect of sexual game, and as a model of family relationship, as the person inclined to leadership is the Dominant itself. Domination involves all kinds of power over the partner. The same analog of relationship can be detected among the people, who unaware of concepts and rules behind BDSM ( for instance, sexual service of your partner on his initiative ).
Role-playing game “Sadism and Masochism” assumes the pain (either physical or psychological). According to the above, the sadist gets satisfaction because of the pain he causes, while the masochist because of its receipt. Therefore, causing pain in a state of necessity refers to area of Sadism and Masochism. The pain can be caused by diverse ways and methods, as these ones may differ in intensity. Beginning with the melted wax, dropping on the partner’s body, till slashes and other harder actions. Actually, if during a hot sex the man likes to drag away the partner’s hair, causing her to feel pain, it indicates the tendency to BDSM-relationship.
The most important thing in BDSM lifestyle is that all actions and experiments must occur in accordance with mutual trust and desires, giving reciprocal enjoyment. Such role-playings are rather risky and hazardous, the Dominant (“superior”) is always responsible for the physical safety of his Submissive (“inferior”), as well as psychological.
Safe, Sane and Consensual – these three characteristics distinguish real and trustful BDSM-partner from the amateur one.
